INSIGHT: Express your thanksgiving

I am amazed at the number of people who are trying to build good friendships, create good relationships with a negative, critical, angry attitude toward other people.

I am amazed at the number of people who go about the world complaining, criticizing, finding fault and then they wonder why no one likes them, why they never get the loyalty and devotion they think they deserve.

Why do parents feel like they can shame their children into giving back love? Why do teenagers feel like they can pass around stinging gossip, talk trash and still enjoy the enthusiastic acceptance and affection of others? Why do leaders feel like they can threaten their workers, students, team or citizens into devotion and loyalty? Why do spouses feel like they can criticize their wife or husband into affection? And yet this happens all the time.

Who would drink a delicious glass of crystal clear water after a cup of nasty sludge was poured into it? Nobody.

So why in our relationships do we think we can achieve something sweet and wonderful when we consistently dump in the sludge of criticism and discontent? It doesn’t work. Jesus once said that a diseased tree doesn’t produce healthy fruit. So many people are trying to produce good relationships with diseased attitudes. It simply doesn’t work.

What works is expressed thanksgiving. What works is well-stated affection and devotion. What works is appreciation. Expressed thanksgiving creates a spirit in a relationship. It creates a mood in a relationship. Where negativity and complaint create a spirit of defeat, gratitude and affection create a spirit of hope. Express your thanksgiving on a regular basis, make it a habit, and you’ll see your home, your work and your life change to the better.

You can do it. You can be grateful. You can be thankful. It’s not that hard to do.

You can express your appreciation with your words and with your deeds. You can send a thank-you card. You can email one of those electronic cards, with the happy music and dancing animals and say, “Thanks, I appreciate you.”

You can do that. You can pick up the phone and say it. You can walk up to someone you value and express it. You can do that to your kid, to your boss, to your co-worker, to your teacher, to your parents or to the lady behind the counter in McDonald’s.

If you can give a blessing, a good word, if you can act like a friend, you will be better off for it. It will make your life more enjoyable. Slowly but surely you will see arguments diminish. You will notice fewer conflicts. It’s just like Jesus promised, when you express your gratitude, when you display your devotion, when you state your affection, slowly but surely you will see that what you do for others will in fact start being done for you. People will respond to your words of gratitude with a smile, an appreciation, a renewed sense of devotion.

My mom used to say to me, “To have good friends, you must be a good friend.” She was right. There are people all around you every day that you are thankful for, people you appreciate very much.

Say it. Show it. Express it.

Make sure they know, without a doubt, that they are in your heart and that you think they are something. I promise, it will change your world.

Wilson is the pastor of West Main Baptist Church.