FAMILY TIES: When these 19 children get together, it's quality time

When the Stephens family comes together, they just keep coming.

There are 19 children of the late Jimmie Dee Stephens and the late Mary Evelyn Logan Stephens, all living.

Fourteen of the siblings live in the Danville Pittsylvania County area, and about three Sundays out of every month, they get together for a big dinner and rollicking good time at their sister Carolyn’s house in the county.

“If we get a meal going, everyone will come,” said Geneva, a sister. “Since Mother passed, [sisters] Joyce and Carolyn live in the family home, so it’s a good place to meet around the table, to discuss and talk.”

When 12 gathered recently for the interview, it was apparent the family loves and enjoys each other. There is a lot of laughing and consideration with everyone speaking of each other and their accomplishments kindly, then patiently waiting while each one shares in the conversation.

The one lone grandson present, 6-year-old Zackhary, sat quietly on the couch and answered with a polite “Yes, ma’am” when prompted.

In the family, there are three ministers, three who work or have worked at Goodyear, truck drivers, fire fighters, college basketball referees, loggers, martial arts instructors, automotive engineers and many other professions. There are also two sets of twins.

Their ages range from 47 to 74.

Growing up

The family grew up in the Java community in a two-story house. The boys slept upstairs and the girls downstairs.

Their father died in 1966 at the age of 50 and their mother in 2000. At their mother’s funeral, there were 35 grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren.

“He was a farmer … and was employed by The Lane Company of Altavista,” Carolyn explained. “He was a hard worker and a loving father to his family and his wife till his death.”

Their mother was the first black woman to serve as a juror in Pittsylvania County.

“She was a homemaker and not only was she a widow with 19 children, but she would sell Avon. She babysat most of the grandchildren and worked hard doing other things,” Carolyn said. “She was the founder of the Stephens Singers, which are still singing today. The group has been together for 33 years.”

The group now includes several grandchildren.

Hilda, a sister, said the family ate “real good.”

“We didn’t go hungry. Back then we had a large crop,” she said.

Jerry, a brother, added that the family was raised on gardens, chickens and hogs and didn’t buy much more at the store than sugar and coffee.

All the children graduated from high school, either Northside, Southside or, mostly, Dan River High School.

“The older ones took care of the younger ones, and our father was dedicated to his wife and children,” Hilda said.

Times for marriages and families were different back then, according to Joyce.

“Back in that day, husbands and wives were getting along and raising their kids right. The kids stayed around the home and walked everywhere. Then everyone had to meet around the tables to talk.”

And Sunday was for church, according to Geneva.

“There was no option on Sunday — you went to church,” she said. “We didn’t have what others had, but we were neat and clean and the older ones helped feed and dress the younger ones.”

Jerry said that visitors to the home were always fed, but their mother’s motto was to eat like you have a family, that is, don’t fill your plate too high.

Get-togethers

Even though some of the brothers and sisters live in Georgia, New York and even as far away as California, they still all come home for Christmas. They draw names for gifts between the brothers and sisters, and all the children get gifts.

“Even though we draw names, it was Mother’s mission to buy all the grandkids something,” said another brother, Johnny. “It was her way of putting glue in the cracks to keep everyone together.”

But their mother always got gifts from everyone.

“Her room was covered with clothes. She loved clothes,” still another brother, Joseph, added.

The family also has a family reunion every year that is always held in Danville. A sister who lives in Atlanta, Eunice, does most of the arranging for that.

And for the Sunday dinners, everyone helps and the house is full.

“Everybody brings a dish, and we blend it all in,” Joyce said. “But the best part is the gathering. Everyone has enough love . . . Everyone gets along real well. The best part is that everyone is always glad to see each other.”

One of the brothers, Sylvester, said there is no need for a formal way to stay in touch, such as calling trees or emails, because everyone sees each other so much they know what’s going on with everyone.

The most amazing thing about the gatherings, according the Jerry, a brother, is that the grandchildren love to get together as much as the parents do.

In other activities, a lot of the brothers get together to ride bikes on the Riverwalk Trail, and they used to have weekly prayer meetings on Thursday nights.

The future

The older generation is instilling in their children and grandchildren the importance of education, the brothers and sisters agreed.

“Most of them are in college,” Geneva said.

She added that they are trying to keep their children close to them, but the children are “moving everywhere.”

Another sister, Hilda, said it is by the grace of God that everyone is still alive, while Jerry said the commandment “Honor thy father and mother” comes with a promise that “your days may be long,” and “we all did that.”

“Mother told us that together we stand and divided we fall,” Jerry said. “I think everyone follows up with that. That’s part of what keeps us together.”

The Stephens Family

Sisters from oldest to youngest:

» Dorothy Saunders, Hollis, N.Y.

» Virginia Pinson, Queens, N.Y.

» Eunice Stephens, Decatur, Va.

» Mammie Stephens, from Blairs

» Dora Lee, Decatur, Ga.

» Geneva Stephens, Danville

» Delois Palmer, Riverdale, Ga.

» Hilda Adams, Danville

» Joyce Stephens, Danville

» Carolyn Stephens, Danville